It is shocking when you hear how some people on dialysis are so restricted by what they can eat/drink. One thing I did find out was that a lot of people I spoke to thought dialysis was instead of a transplant and that they lived quite happy lives on it and didnt really need a transplant. humpf !! I see their eyes opening wide as I tell them the facts and point them towards some dialysis accounts.

Take care there. Say Hi to your friend for me and you are both in my thoughts.

Please post again if you have any questions or you can contact me privately if you wish (contact page top right of here).

Di
xx

Thank you so much for your quick response. It’s so nice to hear that you felt uncomfortable with people’s reactions too, it’s always nice to know what you are feeling isn’t unique.

Turning people’s questions into an opportunity for education is a fantastic idea and one I wouldn’t have thought about. Also brushing it off as something else sounds a good way forward “I’ve had a face lift, can’t you tell!”.

When my friend became ill it was very sudden and she had a close call so I have mentioned it to some other friends as I was so distressed and since then I can’t help but tell them all the new things I find out. One of the most shocking things i learnt was that cheese was off the menu!!! It’s little things like that which she has found hardest to deal with, it’s a complete change of lifestyle.

We have just been away for a friends wedding and her dialysis machine was playing up and it was the first time I have seen her that frustrated and upset by her illness and all I could say is not long now

Thanks again for your reply and for helping so many others in my position. I’ll try and let you know how it goes.

Hazel xx

After I had my operation and people asked about me, I just said I had an operation without going into details. The few that went further and asked questions like “nothing serious I hope” or even more direct and asked “what for” personally I just brushed it off and said nope, nothing serious and went on to talk about something else or I just responded ” oh you know, this and that” lol .. i.e. none of your business.

Really it is totally up to how you feel. If you really don’t want anyone to know you are recovering from a donation operation, then make sure your boss knows it is totally confidential and really just don’t tell people. Just say it is personal and generally hints to people not to ask.

Alternatively you could ask the hospital for several leaflets on living organ donation or print some off the internet and keep them with you. You can always hand one out and start talking about what life is like for people with renal failure and how a transplant is really the only way forward and this is why you are doing it. explaining to people exactly what donating a kidney is all about, how you can live with one kidney and explain to them the process. Tell them about the low risks and educate them about living donation. You never know, one day one of them may themselves donate knowing all about it cos you told them.

Sometimes we cannot avoid people’s generous reactions to us and yes it is uncomfortable to receive them most of the time, but we can turn it into a good experience by educating people and making them see things in a different light.

Jan not too far away now, what a great start to the new year!!

Not sure if what I have said has been of help, just that is the way I dealt with things and still do. I try to educate people where I can on both sides i.e. why the recipient needs a transplant and how it is not such a biggie for the donor.

Take care, would love to hear how things work out
Di
x

I am starting the testing process for donating a kidney to a very close friend and we are hoping to get everything sorted for an op in January 2011. I’m not nervous about the operation but certainly concerned about how I’m going to cope with 4 weeks off work and having a very caring mother fussing over me!!
My friend has starting to tell people I am going through the testing process and I find their reactions difficult to deal with. People seem surprised and amazed that you are willing to help a family member or friend in this way and for me its awaked people thinking that you are someone special.

When you have to have time of work or when people see that you are recovering from an operation do you tell them that you have been an organ donor and how do you deal with their response?
Any advice is welcome

Thanks

Hazel

Age does not come into it. The oldest altruistic donor in the UK is, believe it or not, 82 years old!! The youngest 25 years old (at time of donation). So you are just a youngster still! lol. I myself was 58 years old. As for your question about malaria, that I do not know the answer to. So what I am going to do is pass your contact request over to one of the team at the charity who will be able to advise you better as regards the medical aspect. Please post back with any other questions related to the donation or you can contact me one to one if you wish using the contact page at the top right of this page.

Donating a kidney to a stranger, I have to say was the very best thing I have ever done! I wish I could do it again.
All the best
Di
xx

Thanks Lorna,
Best Wishes
Di
x

Anon whatever you are feeling your recipient could be feeling worse and their thoughts are with you. Concentrate your thoughts on hoping they recover and that they do not ever feel they have wasted your efforts and that they can have another transplant when the time is right and that it will be successful.

I feel proud I donated regardless of the outcome.

You too should feel proud of what you have done. The recipient may not have the result they wished. I know my brother gained confidence afterwards. He was scared of the procedure but now he knows all about it and next time he will emotionally be better prepared which has to help. He also felt he was starting from square one instead of having waited for years. So it has given him great hope for the future. Postives do come out of this for the recipient just not in the ways we would have hoped.

Lorna